Here are some resources that can help you connect with a loved one or understand what they may be going through:

Signs of violence: what you can do

Knowing what to say and do when concerned about someone's behavior isn't easy. The guide below can help you recognize and respond to the early warning signs of mobilizing toward violence.

Concerned someone has access to a gun and is planning violence?

If you believe a loved one is planning violence involving a firearm please call 911 immediately. When you’ve done this, you can also can file for an Extreme Risk Protection Order (ERPO).

An ERPO is a court order that removes firearms from a person's home if they are a danger to themselves or others. It also prohibits a person from buying new guns while the order is in effect.

Family and household members can apply for an ERPO at
Click here to download a guide to filing an ERPO.

How do I talk to a loved one about extreme views?


Be patient and listen carefully to their answers, without judgment.

Create a space where they can speak freely. A little empathy goes a long way when trying to get a loved one to open up about sensitive topics.

Ask open-ended questions about their beliefs and how they came to believe such things.

Remind them they are loved and not alone.

Take care of your own well-being. Know your limits. Ask for help when you need it.


Argue or tell them they’re wrong. Anger will only make your loved one shut down and stop talking.

Criticize them for their beliefs.

Allow anger to control the conversation. If things get heated, take a break and continue when tempers have calmed.

Interrupt them because you don’t agree or feel comfortable with their opinions.

Give up on your loved one. Change can take time.

Find mental health support in your county:

If you don’t feel comfortable reaching out to Speak Safely New York yet, you may refer your friend or loved one to one of the services below.

These local resources are not just for the person you are concerned about. Worrying about another person – whether it is a friend, family member, or simply an acquaintance—can be stressful. Please reach out to your local mental health office if you need to take care of your own well-being.

If you would prefer the national crisis line, please call 988.

Have questions? Need help? We’re here to listen.

You can TEXT (646) 389-8789 or fill out this form.

Our business hours are 9 AM to 5 PM, Monday through Friday. Weekends and holidays may delay our response time, but you should never hesitate to reach out.

If this is an emergency and you believe there is an immediate risk of harm to yourself or others, please dial 911 to reach local law enforcement or 988 for the national Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

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